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  •   Clock Thursday, August 24 2017 12:40am
  WoD Progress T17
Highmaul Normal 7/7
Highmaul Heroic 7/7
Highmaul Mythic 1/7
Blackrock Foundry Normal 10/10
Blackrock Foundry Heroic 10/10
Blackrock Foundry Mythic 0/10
Hellfire Citadel Normal 13/13
Hellfire Citadel Heroic 13/13
Hellfire Citadel Mythic 0/13
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News

5/23/13 - Minions Inc Defeats Durumu and Pummels Primordius!


May 24 2013 - written by Unknown at 12:50am
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Minions Inc had a badass night, blasting right through Durumu and Primordius for a nice update to our progression roster.

Much thanks to all of our guild members who managed not to realm x-fer during our break and contribute to the kills! (I know, I know...we ask a lot of you all.)

5/2/13 - Minions Inc Jostle Ji-Kun's Jimmies


May 3 2013 - written by Unknown at 01:08am
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I'm sorry to deprive you all of Bronto's Wildlife Excursion Comparison Tour of WoW Raids, but I actually am awake enough after raid to remember to do a news post.

Ji-Kun fell prey to Minions Inc tonight on 25 man after Chilela's amazing display of vocal talents. I think we can all agree if it weren't for his Assburgers Battle Cry™, Ji-Kun would still be alive, mocking us with our inability to kill baby birds in nests. Thankfully, one simple phrase from a gentleman of few words is mighty enough to make even the biggest of neornithes seem but a trivial matter.

Stand tall, Chilela. This week's screenshot is dedicated to your ability to inspire our raider base to reach deep down inside themselves (but not inside their pants...we know that does nothing for you) and release the binds keeping them from the soaring heights of mediocrity!

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All kidding aside, great kill tonight guys, and grats to those that got teh lootz.

4/9/13 and 4/11/13 - Minions Inc Down the Rock Hard Tortos and Mangle Megaera!


April 12 2013 - written by Unknown at 01:21am
I'm a slacker and didn't update our news promptly. Yet again, part of this post is brought to you by Brontolith. His text is written in
red
. My text (Dismarum) will be written in
blue
.

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Shown here still happily alive in his cave about to take a nasty bite out of Wyli, Minions Inc downed Tortos on 25man normal with only 24 people because Darkhorne sucks like that.

We had some tough and drama filled nights on this boss but feel relieved he is dead and with the path clear lets continue forward into the Forgotten Depths.


You have one job Dismarum. Jeez.


---------------------

I have a lot of jobs, actually.

Okay so, Minions Inc slapped the crap out of Tortos on 4/9/13.

This is a TORTA. Not to be confused with TORTOS. A TORTA is actually the mexican version of a sub sammich. They are delicious.

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This is TORTOS. Not as delicious, but still made a pretty decent meal.

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Much thanks to Brontolith for his ability to find parallels between wildlife and WoW. There is beauty and nature in everything, people.



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As for tonight, Minions Inc mashed up the mythical Megaera.

Megaera, for those that did not know, translates roughly into "the jealous one"; she was one of the Furies in Greek mythology. They were created when a titan god castrated his father Uranus (haw haw) and threw his ballsack into the sea. The Furies emerged from the drops of blood splashed about. They were minor goddesses of vengeance.

Yep.

So. Yeah. She was as easy as taking out vengeance on your anus. When her blood hit the water, it formed into a chest of loot that all cloth DPS casters cursed unto Hades for it's crappy contents.

That's all I got.

3/21/13 - Minions Kick Counsel Right in Their Cun...ning Faces


March 22 2013 - written by Unknown at 12:54am
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Minions Inc scored a victory tonight by steamrolling through the Counsel of Elders fight as quick as Bronto does through newly translated hentai scans. Or as quick as Chilela signs up for a My Little Pony cosplay party. Or as quick as Darkhorne spergs out over topping the healer meters in an LFR.

You get the picture.

Thanks to all of our raiders who made this happen! Tortos next week, yo!

3/14/13 - Minions Downed the Horny Horridon


March 17 2013 - written by Unknown at 05:14pm
This news post is brought to you by Brontolith. His text is written in
red
. My text (Dismarum) will be written in
blue
.

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After a rough start Minions downed the second boss in Throne of Thunder. Thanks to everybody that came and did research to help down the boss. Let's stay positive with this kill and continue to move forward in the weeks to come!
(Yeah guys. Woooo! Good job and grats to those that got loot.)


*pic is placeholder till our updater can do her job


WHICH I AM DOING NOW:


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3/5/13 - Minions Inc Jab, Job, and Jam Jin'rokh in the Jaw


March 6 2013 - written by Unknown at 01:56am
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Minions Inc jeered tonight as we jabbed and jostled with Jin'rokh's juvenile attempts at juking us out of a kill. Jin'rokh (formally known as Jin'rokh the Breaker) was battered, bruised, and busted against the bastion of our might.

Justice was justly served against Jin'rokh, as the Minions Inc brotherhood begins our bad-ass bash through the Throne of Thunder. Thanks to those who are thick as thieves - to our members who muster on with Minions in our multiple battles. May we march to many more!*

*All of you bitches who complained about me taking forever to put up the Windlord picture are to blame for my overuse of alliteration. Also, I have people skills, dammit.

2/26/13 - Minions Inc Kick Amber-Shaper's Ass...and Windlord


February 27 2013 - written by Unknown at 02:18am
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Minions Inc had a great night in HoF, steamrolling through the first 4 bosses and meeting head-to-head with Amber-Shaper. How the hell did we kill Amber-Shaper? No one really knows. The entire fight is wrapped up in mystery, much like monks and their inability to properly explain what they do.


Also, here's this Windlord picture from like 3 weeks ago. For those of you that sperged over it, enjoy:

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1/29/13 - Minions Inc Stomp Heroic Stone Guard 25m!


January 30 2013 - written by Unknown at 02:11am
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You wouldn't know it by those pile of corpse bones, but Minions Inc celebrated our first foray into 25m heroic content with an easy Stone Guard kill. That monk on the right is doing something really cool in this screenshot. If only we knew what monks did, we could all celebrate his coolness, but no one knows exactly what monks do. No one. I once heard it whispered in a seedy bar that they could shoot rainbows out of their nose and lasers out of their eyes. I finally met one and it turns out that all they can really do is poop out of their mouths. Kinda low on the superpower list, IMO.


Anyway. Grats to those who got heroic loot!

1/24/13 - Protectors of the Endless Fall Prey to Minions Inc


January 25 2013 - written by Unknown at 01:34am
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Not so endless, really.

Grats to Minions Inc on our first 25m ToES kill, with many more to come. Everyone looks very lovely in this picture, except for Zenmax and his fat ass, who managed to block me out entirely.

1/15/13 - Minions Inc Gibbet Garalon!


January 16 2013 - written by Unknown at 01:45am
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This is a gibbet, for those that did not know. I assume most of you all do, because you all are educated people, but on the off chance that you did not, I posted this link here.

Minions Inc had a very successful night, putting us at 3/6 HoF! Thanks to all who participated in this raid, and grats on teh lootz.

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class 2 Druid 1
class 3 Hunter 2
class 4 Mage 2
class 5 Paladin 1
class 6 Priest 2
class 7 Rogue 1
class 8 Shaman 1
class 9 Warlock 1
class 10 Warrior 1
class 11 Monk 1
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  nextRaids Module
08/24/17, 06:00pm - 09:30pm
WoD Normal/Heroic 30m (30)
confirmed: 0
signed up: 0
signed off: 0
backup: 0
08/29/17, 08:45pm - 05:40am
WoD Normal/Heroic 30m (30)
confirmed: 0
signed up: 0
signed off: 0
backup: 0
08/31/17, 06:00pm - 09:30pm
WoD Normal/Heroic 30m (30)
confirmed: 0
signed up: 0
signed off: 0
backup: 0
09/05/17, 08:45pm - 05:40am
WoD Normal/Heroic 30m (30)
confirmed: 0
signed up: 0
signed off: 0
backup: 0
09/07/17, 06:00pm - 09:30pm
WoD Normal/Heroic 30m (30)
confirmed: 0
signed up: 0
signed off: 0
backup: 0
  Officers
GM-Xurick, Teedubb, Moostafacles, Maldetete, Amples, Chilela